Letter # 105: "Types Of Love"

In the comment section at Letter #100, on Romance, a reader asked an earnest question on love and its types. I honour that reader's keenness to analyse, for I know from personal experience that such passion is mandatory for arriving at deeper realizations. In the words of Maharaj Nisargadatta, "You have to give your heart and mind to these things and brood over them repeatedly. It is like cooking food. You must keep it on the fire for some time before it is ready." ["I AM THAT". P489]
Analysis involves applying “word labels” to things but our compendium of words is often limited. A million of thinkers speaking a thousand languages for eons of time would still be tongue-tied in describing love fully.
Wikipedia gives a good introduction to the subject but love is perhaps best appreciated in silence. Having said that, let me present my brief thoughts on love.
The word love means many things but is itself derived from the Proto-Indo-European root leubh- "to care, desire”, which could also be the root of the Sanskrit word lobh, which means insatiable greed.
Opposites are often useful in trying to better grasp a concept. Love’s antonym, hate, comes from the Proto-Indo-European root kede- "to feel strongly", which root also gives the old German word khatojanan, meaning hate.
The ancient Greeks classified love into three types: eros, philia, and agape.
Eros is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing, and when it is without physical attaction it is called platonic, after Plato. Plato taught that eros helps the soul (psyche) recall knowledge of beauty, and thus helps in appreciating spiritual truth; lovers and philosophers look truth by eros. Philia, taught by Aristotle, is a virtuous love, like friendship and loyalty. The ancient texts of the New Testament contain both the words philia and agape, which are both translated into the English word love with an inevitable loss of the deeper nuances of these types of love. Agapē is a general affection as opposed to the erotic love of eros. Wikipedia explains that one can have agape for a meal , or children or spouse.
The above three broad categories capture the various forms of love such as adulation, affection, amourousness, infatuation, devotion, friendship etc.
The streams of love flow are hard to control. Genesis 25:28 speaks of “Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob.” But the ultimate message of the Holy Bible is to turn the direction of love to God. “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” Deuteronomy 6:5.
At verse 8:63, the Holy Koran speaks of Allah as the source of love. “And (moreover) He hath put affection between their hearts: not if thou hadst spent all that is in the earth, couldst thou have produced that affection, but Allah hath done it: for He is Exalted in might, Wise.” The ultimate message, however, is that it is the turning of love to God that will be most beneficial. “If ye do love Allah, Follow me: Allah will love you and forgive you your sins: For Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." [3:31].
Lord Krishna speaks of two types of love - romantic and devotional. In the Bhagavad Gita at verse 10.28, He says “Of causes for procreation I am Kandarpa, the god of love…” and at 10.10, He states, “To those who are constantly devoted to serving Me with love, I give the understanding by which they can come to Me.”
Guru Nanak gives further direction: “Moh maya kai sang(i) na lep(u); Man maih rakhai hari(i) Har(i) ek,” which means, “He is unaffected by worldy love and mammon; He who keeps One God in his heart.” [SS Aht 18. P 187].

God Bless; Allah Hu Akbar; May The Forces Of The Universe Bring You Harmony; Hare Krishna; Radha-Swami; and Nanak Naam Chardi Kala Tere Bhane Sarbat Dha Bhalla.

I wish to express my gratitude for your comments, which inspire me to carry on writing. Please forgive my fallibilities in presenting this material. Also, feel free to send this message on to someone that you might think would like to receive it. If you do send it on, my only request of you is that you send it as it is, in its entirety, and to not alter or modify any of the text, references or authorship information. Thus you will help to give credit or liability to where they are properly due.
Jas Bhopal
Copyright© 2008
References: "The Holy Bible" Online version; "The Koran" as translated by SV Mir Ahmed Ali 2005 ISBN 0-9761870-0-0); "The Bhagavad Gita As it Is" as translated by Srila Prabhupada ISBN 0-89213-268-X; The Srimad Bhagavatum as translated by Srila Prabhupada ISBN0-89213-259-0; "I Am That. Talks With Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj” ISBN 0-89386-022-0; The Dhammapada ISBN-10:1-84483-344-5; The Sacred Sukhmani ISBN 81-7205-098-4; Wikipedia.